My childhood "Boy named Sue" moment

This is a girls shirt!

In grade school we wore navy blue pants and white dress shirts. The boys had triangular collars while the girls wore the rounded ones that little Catholic school girls wear. There was an unfortunate era when my sister and I wore the same size shirt even though we were two years apart. And, of course, there was that day. One of the days that sticks with you forever and came back to me the other day when i was trying on used sweaters at an outdoor market in Amsterdam.

"This is a girls sweater." I said to Susan.

"Oh no it's not. It looks good on you." She answered.

"Irrelevant how it looks, the buttons are on the wrong side."

Back to grade school. The unlucky day must have been around 5th grade and it was made clear to me by my teacher that I was wearing a girls shirt. She asked, of course, in front of the class. "Are you wearing your sisters clothes?"

The class turned and errupted in laughter.

"Stork-dorks wearing a girls shirt!"

So my question is this, was it I who was half asleep while dressing watching Woody Woodpecker or was it my father who was half asleep while he ironed our shirts that morning. Where were the parental checks and balances to sound the buzzer for these things? Was this just a "boy named sue" moment in which my father tested me on how I would handle the rigors of manhood? The only thing it has taught me is to pay extra notice as to which side the buttons are and what shape the collar is.

Our Lady of Perpetual Leaks

OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL LEAKS Forget our Lady of Lourdes or the wailing wall... I think it's about time we consecrate our shower. It's a miracle of plumbing! If a vision were to appear we'd name her Our Lady of Perpetual Leaks. This plumbing wonder has been flowing for a year or so now. As a recovering Catholic I'd go as far as to call it holy water. We've had numerous plumbers make the pilgrimage to our place all leaving in various states of disbelief. Even "The City Papers Best Plumber in Baltimore" scratched his head and said, "no charge. good luck." He ran out the door failing to genuflect but did make the sign of the cross before getting in his car.

Of all the plumbers who've come by, only Mike's Plumbing has returned for a follow up. "More Caulk" is the standard diagnosis. And caulked i've done. "I've caulked the shit out of it." I reply. "I'm on the case." This time Mike is on the job. No lacky is man enough for this one.

I'm hoping tomorrows's visit is from a priest. An exorcism is what we may need.