My Yelp Review... An Embarrassing Hotel Shower


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As a frequent guest of hotel showers across the United States you can imagine the horror and disgust I felt while attempting to bathe in room 383 today. After looking up (and being unable to look away) from the utter disrespect for cultural norms and the sheer lack of consistency displayed with the shower rings so haphazardly affixed on the rod I nearly lost my footing while lathering between my toes and completely forgot to wash my hair! I attempted to (quite literally) right your staff's wrongs but was unable as each and every ring was bent well beyond their limits to allow a proper fit and permanent solution. This, no doubt, is why the curtain is attached to each upside down ring so as to allow gravity to replace the job of physics. While an easy (albeit clever) solution it does horrible damage to the psyche especially when the user (your guest) is in their most vulnerable, and nude, state.

It made me wonder what other horrors I may find in the room? Two decaf pods near the coffee maker rather than a regular and decaf? Would the pillows labeled as "Soft and Dreamy" actually be "Hard and Firm"?

Perhaps I had three conditoners rather than a shampoo and a body wash but I'll never know, for as I mentioned, my Feng Shui was so put off I failed to lather and rinse my scalp much to the disgust of my coworkers.

I am not sure what my employer pays per room but I can say with certainty it is far too much. 

Side note, the restaurant staff was very nice and the homeaide pickles were a nice treat.